


Swamp Angel

by discoballDust



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Apocalypse, M/M, swamps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 03:49:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20521463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discoballDust/pseuds/discoballDust
Summary: The world is broken and everyone has their own brand of survival. Every man for himself, just trying to scrape by. People in groups... Well, you can't trust others.But...How many years can you go in solitude before someone rolls in without permission?





	1. Gimme Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1 is named after the Rolling Stones song on my Dirty Pair playlist. I couldn't figure out exactly how the subject matter of the song related to these two... So I wrote a fic!

All he wanted was some good water. Nice, clean water. Enough to take a shower, a hot shower. Or a cold, no, _frosty– _A coke-commercial-frosty glass of water he could down in one big gulp.

But no. Gakuto sighed about it while he mounted his ratty backpack on and grabbed his two empty tanks- they had gasoline in them before, but you take what you can get. He poured the last of what he had into a bowl on his table. No point in covering it, wasn’t even clean yet. But just in case something happened today and he came back with nothing, there’d still be a little left.

This young man was not too bad a procrastinator back in the day. Then he learned being tired. Really tired. When you go awhile, a long while, _so_ _tired_ and you never get a chance to rest up, to refill your battery to 100%– that changes a person. That’s what Gakuto says, anyway. He isn’t weak, no. He wasn’t slipping or falling apart from the pressure and exhaustion. He’s a fighter. He has _gumption_.

But this week he was bad. He procrastinated on survival. Gakuto was not ready to die, no ho ho sir, but he was so _tired_.

He sang as song as he walked, frustrated that he couldn’t remember the words or the name of it and that he had no way to find out. Walking these days was more like trudging, on/through some sorry excuse of a trashed wetland path between big magnificent cypress trees. If he had the energy he’d want to climb them. Probably.

_Something I would have done back-_

Don’t think about then. He sang louder. He briefly wondered if maybe he should be more covert, but remembered he didn’t have a spare fuck to give. Had to be picky with those.

“You fuckers drink it all?” He mumbled to the trees, but it doesn’t work like that. He used to steal water from trees, before some asshole stole his hatchet!

“_Asshole!” _He grumbled, like every other time it crossed his mind.

Gakuto noticed he was going extra far today. What, were they in a drought? Right before he could laugh out loud at that irony, he cupped a hand over his mouth and froze in his tracks.

There was a duck. A typical city park duck, standing next to a tree, idle, even facing away from him. Desperately Gakuto looked around to find a place to quietly drop his tanks, but it was too late. The duck flew off. It was a long shot– catching birds with his bare hands wasn’t easy– but he didn’t even get the chance. On the bright side, a duck in the forest meant water in the forest. Probably a lot of water! He’d never been this far before, maybe he’d find an oasis in this cursed “swamp”.

He broke out from the trees and found a clearing. Not a clearing, a forest– a cleared forest. Dead or destroyed trunks, for miles. Before him though was a deep ditch, and he heard running water, maybe, trickling really, and boy did he slide down that slope of mud like a snowboarder. There were trash and rocks and branches, but god that was at _least_ 2 inches of water, jackpot.

He was able to fill up his tank a good 2-3 cups without having to get back up, which was better than usual. He took his time, because he had to. The water was mostly mud, but flowing mud was the best he could ask for, and he would just have to filter it several times. Gakuto worked carefully, moving a yard at a time down the creek and then,

“Oh _fuck!”_ he saw a body. The debris piled up more in this spot and he usually tried not to look at it, but there were legs sticking out and he tripped right over them.

* * *

Another person.

They were in the ditch, digging through this sorry rivulet, talking to the mud about how they wished it would rain. Yuushi hoped it didn’t rain.

Hopefully this time the person wouldn’t assume he was dead and walk away. He didn’t want to die anymore. It was taking too long, and his life wasn’t flashing before his eyes. It was a long excruciating PowerPoint, with a tone of self hatred inspired by the events leading up to his not-death.

No, dying was not working, and he no longer wanted to be left here to do it. And he especially didn’t want to die by drowning.

He felt the feet trip over his legs, heard a grunt and a hard muddy landing. _Notice me_.

* * *

Gakuto definitely noticed him. At first he thought the person was dead, “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh my god oh my god nooonono.”

He went this long without happening upon a dead body, and the bloodier times were supposed to be past. What about… Was his water okay?

No, the water wasn’t okay to begin with, and no, _this body is not dead, it is shivering_. Gakuto climbed around the pile of dead branches to see the upper half and found the person covered in mud and mud-trash. Suddenly, finding a dead body didn’t seem so bad. A dead body is disturbing, but requires no action or moral dilemma. This, however, was a living breathing person who looked like they very much needed some help.

* * *

_Say something_, _open your eyes, move,_ the not-dead person instructed himself, but no luck. Why couldn’t he move? When was the last time he tried?

So he _finally_ decided to try and survive, and suddenly he’s paralyzed? What luck. A cosmic prank? Personal punishment? Maybe he _is _finally dying.

But it was weird, he should be able to move something. It was sleep paralysis! He just had to wake up. _Yuushi once you wake up you can move. When you wake up you’ll be able to feel the ground again._

He heard a voice and remembered he was supposed to focus on the person in his ditch. It scared him that he forgot. He suddenly couldn’t sense them, should he panic? But the voice was back, playing like a radio in a distant room.

What were those words? They were so close, but Yuushi couldn’t figure out which direction they came from. If he could just hear the words, understand them–

“Stop -“

_Stop what? I’m not doing anything, I can’t do anything. _The words, was that real life? _Hey Yuushi, you’re still alive. Get out of your head, there’s a world outside._

“STOP HITTING ME, I’m trying to HELP YOU.”

Oh no. Yuushi seemed to be moving after all. But it was not Yuushi, it must be someone else. It had to be, because he would know if he was hitting someone. Maybe the words were lies.

The words.

There was a person. A man. He sounded youthful, mostly sounded stressed. Yuushi heard the voice better now, it was there, and the words weren’t the important part, because Yuushi’s mind was just a room he was sitting in. He needed to climb back out.

* * *

Gakuto grabbed the man’s flying wrists.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, don’t hit me anymore, I won’t hurt you.”

He tried to make his voice calm, but his voice is not inherently calm, and he was not calm. Maybe if he just kept talking and thinking out loud the guy would wake up more. Gakuto felt the guy’s wrists tense and his shivering vibrated through to Gakuto’s grip.

“Oh man, you’re soaked. You must be freezing, and it’s summer. Shit, how did you get so wet?”

The man shivered harder when Gakuto touched his shoulders, feeling drenched fabric. He could see now that the man’s eyes were open, but he was in a daze.

“Oh man, you are so fucked up,” Gakuto whispered with the onset of dread. “Shit. Ahhh.”

Gakuto sat back on his knees and ran a hand through his hair, forgetting how dirty it was. _Think think think._

“Okay. We need to move you out of this creek thing, get you in the sun. I bet you have a fever or something.”

He put a hand to the guys forehead, he just had to get to through his muddy hair…

He gasped and jerked awake when Gakuto touched his head. His head lifted up and his eyes shot open, scaring Gakuto half to death.

He looked straight at him.

The look paralyzed Gakuto a little, probably since he hadn’t seen any eyes in a while, much less someone else’s. No, that wasn’t the only reason. These eyes, they were loud and strong, very _very_ alive and they saw right through him straight to his core. Gakuto received a message: _Don’t fuck this up._

Gakuto swallowed, his mouth so dry suddenly.

“Hey, see? You’re okay. I’m not going to leave you here, I’ll get you fixed up. Can you move?”

The eyes, where did they go? That one intense look and they were gone. The man was back to staring into space, head down, and only gave him a distant glance and something like a nod. Gakuto tried to help him get up. He pulled on his arms, he hoped to goad some self action into him. But he was slow moving, trembling all over, and it just wasn’t happening. _Shit_. Gakuto got back down next to him. _He’s pitiful._

“You gotta help me, okay? Help me help you. Shit, something really bad happened to you. I can’t tell if you’re hurt, but you can move I think if you try, please try? Please?”

Gakuto realized he was whispering now. He put an arm around his back, he needed to calm him down even if he had to sit with him against some muddy debris on the side of the ditch. He shuddered more at Gakuto’s touch but only at first, then he didn’t seem bothered, just shaking.

He was _so cold. _

While he made soothing “sh”s, he had no idea how to console someone, Gakuto reflected for a moment. He had his arm around a muddy stranger in a ditch, trying to comfort him, and he was absolutely failing at doing anything to warm him up. 

* * *

“Hey, look at me. We gotta go. Let’s go.”

Yuushi was dead. He must have been an okay guy in life though, because being dead wasn’t so bad.

At first he wasn’t sure, but then, face to face suddenly, clearly in front of him, obviously there to guide him was–

an angel.

Yuushi didn’t really believe in angels, heaven or any religion, actually, but when an angel is right in front of you there’s no mistake.

The angel was playing a game. He didn’t know that Yuushi already knew he was dead. He was being nice, pretending that Yuushi was okay, that his life carried on peacefully and he wasn’t going to die alone in a ditch— and in the end the angel would break it to him softly. Yuushi and the angel would walk through the gates of heaven and they would hug him and forgive him, but for now, he liked the angel’s game. It was like a dream. He saw himself play along, as if he was watching a movie starring himself.

It was hard to pay attention to the movie sometimes, and every so often he’d realize he had missed something. The angel was asking him a question, but he must have looked away at the part where movie-Yuushi stood up. The movie wasn’t that good, he realized. The angel was vaguely insulting him, and he sure cussed a lot for an angel. Yuushi sort of liked that, though. He was just the right sort of angel for him, not too perfect and shiny, still beautiful and cherubic, of course. But no, he didn’t get a perfect delicate cookie cutter. And that was for the best.

Yuushi knew that if he deserved any angel at all, it would be heaven’s sassiest. 

* * *

Gakuto was not prepared for this. He was not trained. He had no experience. But he did indeed manage to assist/drag the dazed shivering not-dead guy up and out of the ditch– before he fell over again.

“Come on man, a little further. I really fucking don’t want to drag you through the mud.”

He had to drag him through the mud a little bit but they finally sat in a patch of strong sunlight.

“See, Nice and toasty. Let’s get this crusty ass rag shirt off you- nononono NO, do NOT pass out on me!”

Gakuto got the guys wet shirt off and laid him back on his backpack to keep off the damp mud. Everything was so damp, and yet there was never any water (except when it rained). Stupid fucking apocalypse.

The guy was shivering less, the sun had done something to warm him. Gakuto took his own shirt off and used it to tie his empty tank to his pack, really hoping he wouldn’t get sunburnt.

It took a long time for them to get back. The guy was slow and dizzy and still in some sort of fevered haze, he kept tripping and Gakuto was dragging him by the hand in the right direction, telling him how to step over hidden roots and to be careful. He was limping but at least he could walk. Gakuto could not have carried this guy, not even almost. He was at least half a foot taller. Gakuto didn’t dare throw away his disgusting shirt, either, since he probably wouldn’t have another for him. He had a bad wound on the back of his upper arm that looked infected, even if the mud obscured it, and Gakuto did not look forward to dealing with it. He was grateful he had tylenol and water.

Finally he stopped, put his filled water tank down, shook out his numb arm, and exhaled big while looking at his new pal, who took the stop as permission to lean against a tree.

“You’re not gonna like this.”

The guy was breathing hard, didn’t meet his eyes.

“I need you to climb up this rock wall.”

The man looked up expressionless, eyed him, eyed the 2-3 meter high craggly cliff face before them.

Gakuto prepared for the worst when the man finally looked back to him, but he just nodded a little and with no more to say, slowly made his way up. without falling! He disappeared over the ledge and didn’t look back down.

Gakuto supposed that was the best he could hope for. He grabbed his obnoxiously long rope out of his pack and tied the end of it in 6 loops around the handle of his tank. He climbed up the wall with learned ease, rope in hand to pull the tank up after. On the cliff his pal was laid with arms and legs out like he was making a snow-angel, soaking up the sun. _Swamp angel, _Gakuto chuckled to himself. 

* * *

The sun was so warm that _he _felt warm. The ground here was dry. And yet try as he might Yuushi didn’t give much thought to either of these shocking and miraculous factors.

“Well, we’re here. You found a… nice place to rest I see. Hey.. Oh... Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry... You made it. You’re alive.”

This was no dream, no trick. The angel did not lead him to the gates of heaven. He really did survive. Yuushi was alive.

* * *

That was the last thing he remembered for the next few days. It felt remarkable when he finally woke up, for real for real. He felt alive for the first time in...a week, maybe, but a very long week. He was lying on his back, his neck hurt, he could feel a stiff worn towel between his fingers. He felt so very real, grateful that he was no longer a floating observer of himself. He saw rock above him, some faint light from a hole. Evening maybe?

When he sat up he got very very dizzy, but managed to assess his surroundings. He was in a cave. His angel had brought him to his lair.

The angel’s back was turned, and Yuushi really looked at him for the first time. He was skinny. Well, everyone was skinny, but he was… small. Not weak, at least Yuushi _knew_ that, even if he looked that skinny. He saw his profile, his hair tucked behind his ears, a dark burgundy color. His face… He was a bit elfin, no wonder Yuushi thought he was an angel. How long had he been taking care of Yuushi? Did he even say thank you? He owed this person his life, especially since he wasn’t a real angel. “The angel” is how Yuushi would always think of him, though.

“Oh! You’re up. Feeling any better?” He turned to Yuushi only for a second, before going back to his little fire. Yuushi found it curious that the person he saw was a complete stranger, but his voice was so deeply familiar.

* * *

Sitting up on his own was a good sign. He was probably better, now that the fever was gone. Gakuto covered his fire with a pot lid. “You want some water? It’s too hot to drink right now, but in a minute…”

“Yeah, thank you.”

A shiver shot up Gakuto’s spine and he dropped the cup in his hand. It echoed when it clattered to the rocky floor.

He’d planned on turning to look for a nod, but instead he spun haphazardly. There his patient was, sitting up and _looking_ at him. Awake.

“What did you say?”

Gakuto had to laugh a little. He needed to know it was real and he wasn’t hallucinating. He watched in awe as the man cleared his throat and looked confused, “s-Sorry. May I please? Have some water?”

Gakuto wasn’t sure what to say first. That voice was _not _what he was expecting. In fact, he wouldn’t expect that voice from anyone. His imagination wasn’t enough to come up with something so deep and silky and _beautiful_– that could be an exaggeration, maybe it was just so nice to hear someone talk.

“Is it okay?” He looked so confused, _really_?

“That’s the first time you’ve spoken.” Gakuto stared.

“Oh… Sorry. I don’t remember. I remember you helped me. Saved me. I don’t know how to begin to thank you- sorry, is the water okay yet? My throat is dry.”

He put a hand to his throat, looking at Gakuto sort of awkwardly.

“Yeah, yeah! Hold on.”

Gakuto had to roll his eyes at himself, he was just _staring_ at the guy, but hearing him talk was… _Wow_. He scrambled for another cup, scooped water into it, then sat cross legged right next to him, holding it out. He took the cup from Gakuto’s hands “’It’s still hot–“ and drank the entire thing without a breath.

Gakuto watched him swallow and breathe, hanging on for his next words.

He exhaled. “You’re an angel.”

Gakuto felt that voice travel straight to his stomach and burn there like a fire, and he didn’t want to know why it did that. Or why it made him say what he said next.

“I can’t tell if it’s because I haven’t heard someone else speak in so long, but you have a _really_ nice voice.”

He liked the way the man’s eyes twinkled a little at the compliment. Those eyes had been so vacant for so long and it had scared Gakuto more each day.

“I’ve heard something like that before, thank you. I like your voice too.”

Oh god, Gakuto was _blushing._ This was getting out of hand.

“I-I’m glad you can talk. That you feel better enough to talk, I mean. Not that you have to talk. I mean, I’ve been talking to you nonstop for days and it didn’t seem to bother you, so.” _Please stop smiling at me like that. _

“You don’t have to talk about what happened if you don’t want to, I’m just glad you’re finally… Lucid.”

He said the last words clearly and carefully.

The man’s hair was still covered in mud where Gakuto hadn’t wiped him off, his cheeks were still red from the afterglow of fever, his chest was bruised, and he had dark circles to rival a raccoons, but the way he looked at him and gave a little understanding smile made Gakuto feel totally at his mercy.

“When’s the last time you’ve spoken with someone?”

Gakuto stood up to get his own water, he had to think. “Over a year. Maybe two.”

“I see. Sort of a loner, aren’t you?”

“Not really.” Gakuto turned his back to him.

“Just alone.”

He got his water and spun back quickly.

“What’s your _name, _anyway?” Gakuto didn’t mean to be that snippy, but he didn’t want the guy to keep digging into his life or worse, feel bad for him. He was in no place to do such a thing. Gakuto didn’t want to give him the chance to think he understood.

But he didn’t look affronted, he kept his mouth closed and just looked at him for a calming second.

“I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you. It’s Yuushi.”

Gakuto acted casual, like he hadn’t been a dick just now. “you're welcome. At least I wasn’t bored the last few days.”

“How long has it been?”

“...4 days ago I found you. How long were you there?”

“2... or 3 days. I know I ended up there on Sunday night...”

The angel gave Yuushi a sad look. A look that said he hadn’t thought about calendars in a long time. “Sorry, I don’t know.”


	2. The Rain

“Ok it’s coming. We don’t have much time, come on!”

“What are you doing?”

“Getting undressed??? I’m gonna take a shower! Hurry!”

“It will rain for hours, what’s the rush?”

“Do _you_ want to get struck by lightning?”  


Yuushi took his clothes off. Gakuto had run out of the cave and he was screaming. He came back in, soaking wet with a big smile. “It’s cold as fuck!”

He got a bar of soap out of a duffel bag and Yuushi observed how he stuck it out in the rain to get it wet. He looked at Yuushi awkwardly, and to the soap in his hand. Then he rubbed it on his tummy really hard to get soap off and handed it to Yuushi.  


“Sorry, it’s all I got.”  


He spread the soap out over himself from his abdomen and Yuushi got the idea. He stepped in the rain to get wet and it was cold and _hard_, but he could see why Gakuto was smiling, the welting sensation of the raindrops was exciting. He stumbled back in quickly with bar of soap but Gakuto reached for it.

“Forgot my hair!” He had to shout, the rain pouring off the side of the caves roof was already deafening. Thunder rumbled vaguely, not very audibly in the distance, but no flashes. “_Shit.”_ Yuushi got as much soap as he could, wishing he had more time, probably using too much of the soap for his hair but there was probably still blood in it, he _needed_ to be clean.

It really was like a shower, cold but with good water pressure. He had a view of trees for days that was growing faded behind the weight of the rain. He could still through the deluge see Gakuto scrubbing his head smiling like an idiot and laughing. Waving his arms out to feel it. He imagined him doing the same thing all by himself Yuushi spread his arms out and did a spin in it too, and it was more fun than it looked. The rain was rough and powerful and he had a powerful sense of being alive. It was so good to feel.

Thunder rumbled, louder this time.  


“Oh shit, we gotta go!”  


Gakuto rubbed the soap off himself and shook his hair and ran under the cave. Yuushi still had soap in his hair, he came under the edge of the cave to comb it out a bit and went back in the rain to finish washing it. Gakuto kept shouting to hurry, hurry, wrapped in his own towel and holding one for Yuushi. More thunder, much closer.

“Yuushi, please!” he screamed, really freaking out. Finally he forcefully grabbed him and pulled him in. He looked really scared and Yuushi thought he might be overreacting.

A loud crack blasted through their surroundings, his ears and he faintly heard Gakuto gasp;

Right before them a thick ribbon of lightning erupted a cypress tree, smiting it cruelly so it burst with fire and sparks. There were only two trees in between the crashing trunk and the cave, and the force of its fall sent a wind to where they stood. Gakuto squeaked.

He turned to him and he was yanked in further by the wrist. Gakuto sped around throwing him clothes and all sorts of fabric. He grabbed his shoes too and threw them at him. Yuushi was still wrapped in his towel and he watched Gakuto wipe his own shoes off and frantically build a pile of fabric, he put his shoes on while standing on it.  


“Just do what I’m doing!” He yelled, not looking up. Yuushi started to build his own insulation pile, confused in the rush.

“No! Not anywhere near the entrance!”

Yuushi turned and walked toward the wall.

“That’s too close to the wall!”

“Your cave isn’t that big!”

“I know!” he screamed desperately.  


They heard lightning strike again and Gakuto let out a sob. He wore nothing but shoes and he was crouched on his feet with his hands over his ears, shaking. Crying loud enough for Yuushi to hear.

“Gaku-“ He just wanted to comfort him, he was _terrified._

“Stay away from me!” He screeched, “Get in the fucking lightning position!”

“What is the lightning position?!”

“Completely dry! Feet together! Be small! Don’t touch the ground!”

He repeated it a few times, even after Yuushi complied. They weren’t even wearing clothes, all he had on were his worn out sneakers. He was scared too, the lightning cracked, very visible from the cave entrances and everytime Gakuto sobbed loudly enough for Yuushi to hear it with his ears covered.

This went on for 17 minutes. To Gakuto time was indefinite, it was simply a matter of keeping his heart beating until it was over. To Yuushi it felt like hours.

The rain was loud but the thunder had been distant for quite some time. Yuushi stood up and dug through the pile he stood on for some clothes, managing to find some for Gakuto as well. He walked several feet away to where he remained in lightning position, and crouched down.

“Hey, Angel. It’s over now. Put these on,” he spoke softly and rubbed his back, Gakuto’s eyes were closed still.

“It hasn’t been thirty minutes yet. You have to wait thirty minutes.”

“You’re shivering. At least put some clothes on.”

After a few seconds he took the clothes from Yuushi, who backed up and got to rearranging the messy cave where Gakuto had thrown everything around. He pulled things away from the edge where the wind and rain wet them, and adjusted the bucket under the slow leaking roof. Gakuto was dressed but back in lightning position. He had stopped crying awhile ago, now he crouched in silence. Yuushi laid out the sleeping bag next to him, sitting down on it at Gakuto’s side.

“I’ve never seen someone that scared by lightning.”

Gakuto shrugged, Yuushi softly took one of his hands away from his ears. He spoke in his most soothing voice.

“Sit down and I’ll dry your hair.” Gakuto nodded and sat down. That sounded nice.

And Yuushi did. Gakuto was short enough that Yuushi had good reach sitting down behind him, legs bent on either side of him as he slowly worked the towel around his hair, for as long as he could until the towel was too wet to do any good. Then he combed it with his fingers.

Gakuto turned halfway to stop him.

“I’m alright, really. Thanks for your concern. I’m fine now.”

The first thing he noticed was that Yuushi made zero effort to move his leg and make room for Gakuto’s, keeping it around him. The second thing he noticed —.

“Why are you crying?”

Yuushi looked away a little sheepishly and wiped his face.  
“You may not like it if I tell you.”

“Now you have to.”

Yuushi studied him. “Is it like that every time?”

Gakuto turned back around so Yuushi wouldn’t see his face.  


“Sometimes.”  


Yuushi pulled him into a hug against him, something Gakuto hoped might happen.

“Sometimes it's worse.”

Yuushi rested his face against the back of his head and spoke softly,  
“And you had to go through it by yourself this whole time.”

“Yeah, it really sucks.” His voice caught, Gakuto had never talked about it before.

“But I got used to it.”

Gakuto heard his voice shaking. The rain beating down echoed in the cave and it was getting dark. The solar powered lantern automatically turned on. Yuushi wrapped himself around him, pressed forward, pressing his legs around Gakuto’s, and had they been any other sizes it wouldn’t have worked at all, but it did.

  
“That’s even worse.”

Even though he couldn’t see Gakuto's face, even though Gakuto didn’t make a sound, Yuushi brushed a thumb over his cheek to wipe away wet that indeed was there. And just like the world around them, Gakuto broke.

Yuushi said all the right things to soothe Gakuto even as he shook them both.

You can cry as loud as you want, louder than the rain.

You can do anything you want, you’re an angel.

You’ll never be alone again because you’re stuck with me now.

For two years Gakuto told himself that companionship was overrated and people could not be trusted, especially groups of people. He knew deep down he was probably wrong, but since he was crying anyway he could finally admit it to himself.

In the face of all that is awful, all the different plights and traumas of survivors in this cursed world… Complete strangers could offer such pure love. Comfort.

It was pride not to be pitied, but these days it was sometimes all they had. Gakuto knew even after he quieted and his breathing calmed and he listened to Yuushi whispering _it’s ok_, that it was exactly what he needed.

He knew it wasn’t going to fix everything, life was set to still be hard and painful and scary, but… it would be better now.

* * *

Don’t feel bad that you're alive. I need you, you know.  
  


You don’t need me, you’re the one who saved my life.

But it feels like I need you.  
  


You would have survived without me.  
  


But I want you.  


* * *


End file.
